Lonliness
by Saori Runa Dempsey
Summary: Angsty and a TK / Tai friendship thing. Hope you like it.


A angsty, TK / Tai friendship fic. Hope you all like. I tried my best to think of something for this. It DOES contain small small traces of Takari, bur for once, the fic doesn't focus on it. This even contains some brotherly friendship and microscopic Tai / Matt friendship. Hope you like. I'm pretty sure I have no real plot for this.  
  
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11 year old TK Takaishi walked along the rocky, dirt path. Cold rain fell down on him as he walked through the park with no protection against the chilly winds or rain. Dark clouds loomed over Odaiba as he trudged towards his destination. The night sky seemed to get darker, if possible, as he reached it. TK climbed a small hill to an old tree that sat alone on its peak. A beat up, old tire swing hung lifeless on one of its sagging branches. TK sat himself in the swing, despite the water in it. His normally bright blue eyes now looked down at the muddy ground dully. He swung himself lightly as the rain continued to fall harder against him. His mind started to drift back in time as thunder and lightning crashed in the sky.  
  
He remembered vividly how he and Matt used to come to this exact spot when they were younger. His brother would always push him as they both laughed happily with each other. He remembered riding on Matt's back when they ran to the nearby ice cream place afterwards. All the good memories with his brother flooded the young boys' mind as he swung back and forth.  
  
But those times had ended.  
  
After the divorce, they barely saw each other. They drifted apart from each other, TK going to Kawada with their mom and Matt staying with their dad in Odaiba. He rarely saw his mom with her busy with work. Even after moving back to Odaiba with his mom, TK rarely saw his family. His father practically lives at the TV station, his mom in her office typing articles 24 hours a day, and Matt at band practice. He had taken up basketball to keep himself occupied and used it as a way to release his pain. He longed for the old days when they were together as a family. When they would laugh happily with each other as one big family. The young blonde boy felt tears fall down his already wet cheeks, mixing with the chilling rain.  
  
He felt so alone. Sure, he had Patamon and the other digidestined, but it wasn't the same. Deep within his heart, he felt alone in the world. A deep void within his heart, holding the pain he felt. He rarely saw the other destined, with the exception of Kari, Davis, Ken, Yolei and Cody. Joe was too busy with studying, Izzy too wrapped up in his computers, Mimi living so far away in America, Matt practicing with his band, Sora with Tennis and the flower shop, and Tai with soccer.   
  
Even the new destined team seemed to be so far away from him.  
  
Davis was too busy trying to impress Kari and play soccer for TK to even talk to him. Yolei was always working at her parents' convenient store and Cody was always practicing Kendo. Ken was all the way in Tamatchi (( I think that's the town's name...)), and Kari was very busy with her schoolwork and photography. All the people he held dear to him seemed to be drifting away from him. By now, TK broke down into painful sobs as he sat lifelessly in the rubber tire. He coughed violently as the cold began to catch up to him. He shivered from the biting cold winds that had begun to pick up in speed. He was sure he would have collapsed from everything, until he felt a coat being placed on his wet shoulders and an umbrella over his head. He pushed some of his golden blonde hair out of his face as he looked up to see a pair of brown eyes.  
  
Tai Kamiya stood above the young boy, a worried expression plastered on his face. His best friend and TK's brother, Matt Ishida, had called him this late at night in hysterics. He explained how TK had been spending the night, and when he walked into his room, TK was gone. He had panicked and called his best friend, asking if he had any idea where TK might have gone. Tai had immediately started to worry. Even now, he felt his duties as leader of the digidestined weren't over. He felt that it was still his job to protect and worry about their safety.   
  
For this reason, he had been dubbed the "father" of the team.  
  
Tai extended his hand to TK, helping him up. The blonde boy coughed and shivered violently as he shakily stood up. Tai quickly went over and held him up as they began to walk back towards his house.  
  
Kamiya Apartment...  
  
Tai quietly opened the apartment door, hoping he wouldn't wake up his parents. He practically carried TK inside, shutting the door behind him. He let TK fall carelessly onto the couch, his clothes wetting the cushions. Kari, who had been waiting for her brother to get back, sat on the floor next to the couch, talking quietly to TK. The young boy appeared to be asleep as Tai looked over to him, picking up the phone and dialing the Ishida's.  
"Tai?" a panicked voice answered.  
"Yeah Matt, it's me." he said quietly.  
"Did you find him?" Matt asked.  
"Yeah, looks like he was out in the rain for a long while. He's coughing and shaking really bad. I think he should stay here for the rest of tonight. It's 1 in the morning and he doesn't look like he will make it back to your place." Tai explained.  
"All right...just be sure to call me if something happens." Matt said, the worry in his voice showing.  
"Sure thing. See ya Ishida" Tai said, hoping to get Matt to lighten up. His plan worked as he heard Matt chuckle lightly over the phone.  
"See ya Kamiya. Tell TK I said good night." Matt said before he hung up. Tai smiled lightly before turning his attention back to TK. The shaking seemed to stop, but his pale complexion told Tai he was getting very sick.  
"Kari, can you get a thermometer from the bathroom?" Tai asked as he propped TK up on the couch. Kari nodded and scampered off towards the bathroom. She returned a few minutes later, handing Tai the thermometer. He placed it under TK's tongue, checking it after 3 minutes passed.  
"104.3...not good..." Tai mused to himself.  
"Maybe I should get some cold rags." Kari said as she got up and went into the kitchen.   
"Come on little man...we need to get you out of these clothes." he said as he lifted his soaked blue and yellow shirt off of him.  
"Tai?" TK said dazedly as his eyelids opened slightly.  
"Hey TK, I thought you fell asleep for a while there." he said.  
"Come on, Matt said for you to stay here and you're running a high fever. Lets get you changed into some dry clothes." Tai said as he helped TK towards his room, the boys' yellow and blue shirt in his hands. After getting TK into some of his old clothes, Tai let him lay down on the couch. Kari came out a few minutes later, a pot of cold water and rags in hand. She placed the rags on his flushed face, hoping to cool him down.  
"Arigatou Kari-Chan"  
"No problem TK. What are friends for?" she said, flashing him one of her smiles. She didn't notice his body tense when she said friends. Tai, on the other hand, did see it.  
"Why don't you go to bed Kari? I can take care of him for the night." he said. Kari sighed and was reluctant to stand.  
"All right. Night Tai, night TK" she said before kissing the blonde on the cheek and dashing off to bed. TK would have normally blushed, if he wasn't so shaken up. His eyes turned dull as he remembered his dreams, oblivious to Tai who was calling out his name.  
  
He was in a white void with all his friends, laughing happily. Everything had went fine until he heard a voice. It was a whisper in the wind at first, but then it got louder. The louder it became, the darker it got until all was black. The voice boomed as the digidestined faded away, one by one, leaving TK alone in the black void. He was abruptly shaken from his trance as Tai began to shake him.  
"TK, you all right?" he asked. TK was about to respond yes when he felt his conscience inwardly kick him. He didn't want to lie...Lie that he was OK. He knew he wasn't OK, he was far from it. He looked into Tai's dark brown eyes with teary blue ones.  
"No...I'm not OK..." he said in a hoarse whisper. Tai immediately sat down next to him on the couch.  
"So what's wrong? I've never seen you this down." he said.  
"It's everything..." TK said as he sagged.  
"...I just feel so alone. Like no one is ever there to help me anymore or even talk. It's like were not friends at all...."  
"That's not true TK. You have Matt, your parents, and all the other digidestined are your friends!" Tai exclaimed. He was, to say the least, shocked that TK of all people thought this.  
"Sure doesn't seem like it...It's like I don't have anyone to turn to anymore...Just like I don't have my family anymore..." TK said sadly as he let a tear fall down his face.  
"Of course you have your family TK, it's just not all together. Matt will always be there when you need him, just like the other destined will too." Tai said confidently.  
"They won't. They'll drift away like everyone I love has. Everyone drifted away already. I know it's selfish of me to think like this, they all have their own lives to live, but I just always relied on my friends. I never relied on my mom or dad for something cause I never saw them long enough to talk. So I just stood by my friends, but lately everyone drifted and I'm left alone again. That's always been my fear Tai...to be alone." he said. He let out a sigh of relief as he finished. It felt good telling someone after so long.  
"TK...I never knew you felt like that. Why didn't you tell someone?" Tai asked. TK sighed again.  
"Everyone's so happy with their lives...they wouldn't know what it's like to feel so alone..." TK trailed off as he saw Tai's gaze.  
"TK...Some of us would have known what you meant. Sora always felt alone when she was younger, Izzy felt alone after he found out he was adopted, even I felt alone a lot of times." Tai explained. TK looked at him confusedly.  
"When did you ever feel alone Tai? Out of all of us, you and Kari have the best lives." he said. Tai audibly sighed as he pushed his wild brown hair back with his hand.  
"I never told anyone this...but I felt alone all the time. People never liked me as a kid, I was too reckless. I had one true friend, and that was Sora. But, even HER mom didn't like me, so she rarely got a chance to talk with me. So there I was, a reckless 7-year-old boy without a friend in the world. Even when I was 11 and we went to the digiworld for the first time I was reckless. Always jumping into things without thinking. I felt alone then too, more then ever. I had everyone's lives to worry about. We could have all died in that world if I made one fatal mistake. No one knew what it was like to have that weight on your shoulders. I couldn't talk to anyone about it, I had to stay strong. But even I have my breaking points. Remember when Sora was kidnapped? She was my only friend and I let her get taken away. I felt so lonely after that. My one friend was gone because of me. I grew from that loneliness though. Made me stronger you might say, learning how to cope with the loneliness in my heart. When Sora started going out with Matt, it didn't hurt as much. I slowly learned to cope with the fact it was him she fell for...not me. I regret not telling her, but that loneliness I always feel makes me a stronger person. Learn to use your loneliness to your advantage. Don't let it consume you like this. Learn to use those emotions into making you a stronger person." he said. TK looked at Tai in disbelief.   
  
He had always looked up too Tai as his role model. Strong, brave, great leader...happy. He never knew Tai felt so much pain. He always thought he had a perfect life. Wonderful family, hundreds of friends, sports star, everything any boy would want.  
"How do I do that?" he asked. Tai smiled a bit in return.  
"It's hard to do, but...you know what?" Tai asked TK.  
"What?"  
"I'll help you every step of the way. Maybe you can have the chances I never had." he said with a smile. TK smiled and hugged Tai.  
"Thanks Tai..."he said as he wiped away a few stray tears from his eyes. Tai hugged him, patting his back.  
"S'OK kiddo. Now get some rest." he said as TK laid down on the couch. He stood, preparing to walk out when TK called him back.  
"Tai? Can I tell you one last thing?"   
"Sure" TK turned his head on the arm rest so he was looking at Tai.  
"You're like a brother to me...and I want to thank you for that. If it makes any difference...you were a great leader and my role model. You still are." Tai cast a smile to him.  
"Thanks squirt. Means a lot too me. You were always like my little brother too. Now get to sleep." he said. TK smiled, nodded, and turned his head, falling into a deep sleep. Tai looked back one last time at the young blonde boy, a wide smile on his face. A few tears had fallen from his eyes and onto his tanned cheeks. He walked into he and his sister's room and climbed into bed. He wiped away the tears that had fallen, resting his head on his pillow. He stared up at the top bunk for a few minutes in deep thought.  
'Maybe...just maybe I can help him through this. I pray to Kami TK...that you won't have to feel that pain again. You won't have to follow the path of pain I did...' he thought to himself before falling into a deep sleep.  
  
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A plot-less fic like I thought. All Angst and Sappiness. R & R, No Flames.  



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